Michael gets disappointed

In my inbox today (and yesterday. And a few times last week):

Every time I receive one of these spam emails and delete it, Michael gets terribly disappointed when the video of me ‘working on myself’ doesn’t get sent to him. And yes, he is listed in my contracts.

This particular bit of blackmail has been updated to actually fit current times, which is why I assume there has been a rash of them in the last couple of weeks. And the stilted tone is such an interesting mixture of threatening-while-attempting-to-be-friendly (and oddly supportive) that it makes for an intriguing character study.

“If you do something stupid, I will distribute the video.”

“Good luck.”

“Don’t stress.”

Brilliant.

There is a new character in the Archivist series – Doran, a vampire/antiquities dealer – who totally flirts in a similar fashion. Of course, he actually follows through with the threat when he doesn’t get ‘paid’. πŸ™‚

22 thoughts on “Michael gets disappointed

  1. We have received similar emails. My mother always said, don’t make threats you won’t follow through on. Glad your character follows through πŸ™‚

  2. My latest one has been a recorded call saying my credit card has been used for ebay and western union. The same call went to my in-laws too. πŸ™„
    The sad part to all these scams is that they must be successful enough to that they keep coming up.

  3. Wow! I must admit I’m rather taken with the tone too hahaha. Such an interesting mix of threatening and pleasant haha. I also some how think them distributing a such a video wouldn’t be that big a deal in this day and age. Everyone famous has a sex tape these days πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¬πŸ˜…

  4. Last week a total of 78 calls saying my Apple iPhone had been compromised as well as my ICloud…LOL, I don’t own an Apple phone…Morons, wish I had Jasmine to track them down and serve them a little payback, well a lot more payback.

    1. Well i keep getting calls about my vehicle warranty expiring but i don’t own a vehicle never have and i don’t even have a license nor do i know how to drive πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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