#Trust30 – Image

Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mess up your hair. If you are wearing makeup – smudge it. If you have a pair of pants that don’t really fit you – put them on. Put on a top that doesn’t go with those pants. Go to your sock drawer. Pull out two socks that don’t match. Different lengths, materials, colors, elasticity.

Now two shoes. You know the drill.

Need to add more? Ties? Hair clips? Stick your gut out? I trust you to go further.

Take a picture.

Get ready to post it online.

Are you feeling dread? Excitement? Is this not the image you have of yourself? Write about the fear or the thrill that this raises in you? Who do you need to look good for and what story does it tell about you? Or why don’t you care?

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I absolutely loved today’s prompt, and though I was supposed to devote the morning to pitching, After The Virus, and the afternoon to writing, I’ve decided to briefly – if I am actually capable of being brief – respond to this above idea.

I spent the majority of my childhood and teen years attempting to be perfect, as anyone who still knows me from those days can attest too – there are not many of you around anymore! Now, in deference to brevity, I shall not get in to the reasons I constantly strived to project this “perfect” image, just that it was what it was. My mid-20s were spent in-between callings (I had thought to be an actress my entire life previous) and in a relatively dark place (in my head), and this, in hindsight was a particularly difficult period for me.

Right around my 25^th year I was treated to a couple of actual epiphanies. One was a difficult pill and the other was much more affirming (and a completely different topic).

The difficult pill to swallow was that it was currently I, rather than some previous outside force or forces, who demanded this constant perfection. The dusting of make-up, the waxing every 6 weeks, the cute haircut (no bangs in my eyes!), the with-out-a-single-chip manicure and the parade of pretty dresses where my entire construct. And, of course, I always had to be polite and sweet as possible–my opinions constantly tempered (even to some degree today I still attempt to not just simply attack people willy-nilly with my opinions, etc).

So, after many racking sobs and a few terrible fights with various people, I just backed off. I eased off my personal pressure cooker. I only did such things as make-up if I felt it was necessary or polite–dressing up is also a sign of respect.

Yes, I do fall back into this personal pressure cooker, especially with the writing, all the time, but at least, to extend the metaphor beyond comfort, I don’t slam on the lid for a decade or two.

Right now, I have nail polish on my fingernails that is WEEKS old.

Take that perfection – I DEFY you with the very tips of my fingers.

You don’t own me.

I CHOOSE.

And f*ck anyone who asks/expects different of me, including myself.

#Trust30 – Courage to Connect

Courage to Connect by David Spinks

Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.

(Author: David Spinks)

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I have been so focused on promoting After The Virus and trying to carve out writing time (so I follow up with a new novel in a timely manner) that my Trust 30 posts have really fallen to the wayside, but, with that said, I do read and think about the prompts every morning. This one has my brain churning, churning, churning… who have I always wanted to connect to?

Here’s the thing, I’ve always thought that we are all just people. Some people are fantastic at what they do (though, in reference to Outliners, I do believe that talent is only part of the parcel and practice makes perfect or at least really good), and they build a following because of that. So I have always tried to not put people up on pedestals – it’s so much easier for them to fall down that way.

With that said, I would probably become a gushing fan girl if I ever came face to face with Mr. Steven Spielberg, who pretty much raised me via his films.

I’ll have to think on this prompt throughout the day. Just wanted to call your attention to it.

Who have you been dying to connect to?

#Trust30 – prompt#7 – Dare

Dare to be bold by Matt Cheuvront

Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Next to Resistance, rational thought is the artist or entrepreneurs worst enemy. Bad things happen when we employ rational thought, because rational thought comes from the ego. Instead, we want to work from the Self, that is, from instinct and intuition, from the unconscious.

A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. Its only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.”

– Steven Pressfield, Do the Work

The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place – getting “real” often means putting your dreams on hold.

Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.

The only thing left is to, you know, actually go make it happen. What are you waiting for?

(Author: Matt Cheuvront)

—–

I won’t bore you with my lists of goals and obstacles or tangible plan (if I manage to format one) but what I find interesting about this prompt – other than I totally agree – is that I usually pride myself in being rational. It is something I have constantly strived for, mostly because everything can go off the rails so suddenly, so it is best to plan to be as rational as possible ahead of time.

And this does block me, especially if I am attempting to write from a rational perspective; such as, I need to write a romantic comedy next, because that is what sells…that’s what I spent the bulk of 2007 doing, with no pitch-able romantic comedy to now show for it. This is the brick wall I come back to time and time again. It is obviously a tough lesson for me to learn. I must have 5 rom coms shelved at this point, including one I still work on sporadically. I like to think that I am now a strong enough writer to create in almost any genre, but boredom really factors for me, and if I am bored for sure the reader will be as well!!

So while I do think there is a strong argument for learning rules and structure (I am certainly big on structure) – be they for screenwriting or novels or shorts – but, once you are cemented in those rules, I think it is important to try to forget those restrictions as you begin to create a new story.

I am trying to play more, trying to believe in the world I am creating and desperately trying to not judge the writing, because once I attack a new idea rationally I often kill it for myself, even though it could have been great if I had just believed.

So while being rational may be great in relationships, it can be death to creative endeavors.

#Trust30 – prompt #6 – Come Alive

Come Alive by Jonathan Mead

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

(Author: Jonathan Mead)

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Is it just my interpretation or are these prompts a little darkly bent? “You have 15 minutes to live, do before you die, you have one week left to live”. I guess the prompt authors lean towards the extreme in order to get the essence of their prompts across in a couple of sentences, and, of course, now that I dissect it, I could be accused of doing the same in my own work, but–still– leaning towards the dark here.

Now that I’ve protested a bit much, I must admit that I wouldn’t change a single thing about what I am currently doing… oh, you know, I would like to sell more books, we’d like to own some property, and maybe have a little less stress and more money, but we are on the ground floor–actually maybe we are a couple of rungs up the ladder towards the life we always wanted to build. I hope everything grows, expands, from here, but I would still chose to write, to be a storyteller. I am not too sure I could survive (mentally) doing anything else.

For the bonus section of the prompt: in regards to goals improving the present, I am launching a mini marketing campaign this week for After the Virus – I believe that slow and steady growth will help me find my readers, who may not necessarily be my friends and family (though their support is greatly appreciated). So, to that end, I am starting to request reviews and spend some time in a few book related forums on Kindle and GoodReads.

However, the more I read about marketing your books, the more it becomes apparent that the best bang for your time is to actually write more books, so, to that end, I will be dividing my time accordingly, and am actually looking forward to digging into a new project.

#Trust30 – prompt#5 – Travel

Travel by Chris Guillebeau

If we live truly, we shall see truly. – Ralph Waldo Emerson Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

(Author: Chris Guillebeau)

___________

Hmmm… not too sure I would place the weight of “visit before [I] die” on it, but Greece is very high up on my list of places to see. And if I stop making short films and web series out of pocket I imagine I’d be able to use my savings for travel, rather than “art”. However, seeing as writing/creating stories ranks higher than travelling for me, Greece may have to wait a little be longer.

With that said, I have read about this hotel in Crete that is crazy expensive, but sounds like a fantasy come true. A private pool lapping up to the ocean? AMAZING. If I ever wanted to just throw $$ way (say if I won the lottery) this is where I would do it, for sure.

Now I must close with a quick thank you to Chris, who gave me a completely legitimate reason to take time out of my work day to watch slideshows & dream of being crazy rich travelling in Greece.

#Trust30 – prompt #4 – Post-It

Post-it Question by Jenny Blake

That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. Where is the master who could have taught Shakespeare? Where is the master who could have instructed Franklin, or Washington, or Bacon, or Newton? . . . Shakespeare will never be made by the study of Shakespeare. Do that which is assigned you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Identify one of your biggest challenges at the moment (ie I don’t feel passionate about my work) and turn it into a question (ie How can I do work I’m passionate about?) Write it on a post-it and put it up on your bathroom mirror or the back of your front door. After 48-hours, journal what answers came up for you and be sure to evaluate them.

Bonus: tweet or blog a photo of your post-it.

(Author: Jenny Blake)
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All my various concerns and worries about my career and the future, yadda, yadda, can be boiled down to one pivotal, major fear that I have carried with me through childhood, but only recently articulated:

I AM AFRAID OF NOT BEING HEARD

So… umm, how to turn that into a question? How do I make myself heard? I have so much to share, but how do I ~~get~~ find people to listen? ‘Course, soon as I type those words I instantly feel selfish and egotistical, because why should anyone listen to me? Why should I feel like what I have to say is of interest to anyone else? And yet I write. I do have stories to tell, and I do fear that I won’t be able to share them to the extent that I hope to share.

#Trust30 – prompt #3 – One Strong Belief

One Strong Belief by Buster Benson

It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

The world is powered by passionate people, powerful ideas, and fearless action. What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

(Author: Buster Benson)

____________

This is an easy one for me: TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL (EVEN DEATH).

I live it, I breathe it, and I write about it. I carry this with me through every dark day, every failure and every painful memory. And it evens me, eases me, smoothes me out. I can find joy just by remembering this thought, this feeling.

Note that I specify TRUE love, because this is an important distinction. Not all love is true. You know it when you’ve felt it. It, in my opinion, needs to be reciprocated to be real. And we are not all lucky enough to find it. That’s not to say you shouldn’t love lots of people in a bunch of different ways, but it is my ultimate belief that true love can overcome any obstacle.

#Trust30 – prompt #2 – TODAY

Day 2 of the #Trust30 30-day writing challenge from ralphwaldoemerson.me begins with this prompt:

Today by Liz Danzico

Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative. – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

If ‘the voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks,’ then it is more genuine to be present today than to recount yesterdays. How would you describe today using only one sentence? Tell today’s sentence to one other person. Repeat each day.

(Author: Liz Danzico)

—-

Okay, this prompt is much less scary than yesterday’s prompt, but no less intense. There seems to be the beginning of a theme forming for me here, one of writing in a much more condensed version than I normally do; yesterday it was for 15 minutes and now I am supposed to encapsulate today in a single sentence. And I assume it shouldn’t be a run on. Okay here we go.

Today begins with sunshine, new growth in the garden, and a cat nesting in the papers on my desk, and hopefully those papers…

Sunshine, a napping cat, and multiple piles of papers filled with creative bits spread across my desk, creating comfort and possibilities for today…

Today begins with the warmth of the sun, the comfort of a napping cat, and endless possibilities hidden in handwritten notes spread across my desk.

Today begins with the welcomed warmth of the sun, the comfort of a napping cat, and endless possibilities just waiting to be explored in handwritten notes spread across my desk.

[Hmm… these seem to be getting a little long – more than a mouthful, if I am to “tell today’s sentence to another person”. Let’s try again:]

Today the papers strewn across my desk beckon with endless possibilities and…

My desk welcomes me with a napping cat and haphazard piles of papers filled with possibilities and…

[What if I drop the metaphors and symbols and go for a simpler response?]

Today is a day that anything or nothing at all could happen, and I will be content either way.

Today is filled with decisions and choices, as is every day, just some have more weight than others.

[Well, this isn’t going anywhere terribly insightful – ha!]

Describe today, describe today… Today is barely begun and yet it feels like a day rooted in comfort and filled with possibilities.

I woke up early and quite awake this morning, which is a rare occurrence, with my head filled with thoughts of the future and tasks of the present. Today will be a good day.

[Yes, I know, that’s 2 sentences].

Today is feels like there is only a few moments for all the tasks laid out before me, and yet there will still be time to look forward and revel in the endless possibilities of life and love.

[And with that said it really is just time to just get on with today].

How’s your day going?

#Trust30 – 1st prompt

I just signed up to participate in the Self-Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson online initiative.

#Trust30 is a 30 day writing challenge. You receive a daily prompt and respond to it… in writing. So I sign up, THEN I check out the 1st prompt:

Gwen Bell – 15 Minutes to Live

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.
2. Write the story that has to be written.

(Author: Gwen Bell)

So, um, ya. Just reading that scared the shit of me… that’s a response, right? Like I actually felt a shot of fear reverberate through my gut…that can’t be good. Now I am thinking, holy shit maybe I should have checked out the 1st prompt BEFORE I commitment myself. Why couldn’t we talk about our 1st childhood memory? Trust me that would have been hard enough. I mean, sure I write about death and destruction and heroes pulling the world back from the brink of disaster (etc) but I don’t really want to imagine myself dying, having only 15 more minutes with so much left undone, unsaid, unshared. The idea of it makes me all heavy and sad, and why go there, why wallow?

But that’s not the exercise is it? If I push past my initial reaction, I see I am suppose to focus my attention on the story that has to be written, that I only have 15 more minutes to get out into the world or, at least, out of my head. Well, that’s different, isn’t it? Though no less daunting, because I am not sure that in this particular moment I have any story locked in my head that can actually be told in 15 minutes. And any story I have that can be so concisely related? Well, I share those every day, as they occur to me. I guess I am just lucky that way…telling stories is like breathing for me. They would pour out of my head, or at least dribble out of an ear, the right one, I think, if they had actual mass.

Speaking of only having 15 minutes to live and write, more than a little part of me would die, if I couldn’t be a storyteller anymore.

What about you? 15 minutes to live: GO!