Category: personal reflection

Insightful blog posts?

I don’t write insightful or instructive blog posts.

I read a lot of blogs. I follow all the news about filmmaking or publishing or writing – whatever I happen to be interested in that day – but I don’t write them. It doesn’t really occur to me to share my opinion on such things as self-publishing, or buying book reviews, or ebooks in libraries, or the latest controversy. I twitter or facebook the posts I find most interesting and then shut down my browser and focus on writing whatever I am working on …

It has just occurred to me this morning that perhaps this is odd. Is it odd that I am not more “opinion-ly” active? Is it odd that I while I appreciate other people’s opinions, and use their blogs to keep myself vaguely informed, I don’t offer any of my own insights in return?

It’s not that I don’t have opinions on what makes a good story (structure) interesting (action) and engaging (kick ass characters), but that I rarely think to share them beyond a few guest blog posts, etc. It’s not that I am not trying to figure out how to position myself in the market and get more readers’ eyes on my books. And it’s not that I don’t have any experience to bring to the table, though most of that experience is in independent filmmaking in Canada and screenwriting.

To me writing is intense, all-encompassing.

At first, it is just about getting the story out of my head with as much focus as possible, and yet also being free enough to let the character or plot take me where it will within the structure I’ve provided. I often feel utterly empty after a few hours of writing on this level. Devoid of opinion … or even complete sentences.

Then, the next drafts are about making sure that each beat rolls into the next smoothly … with just enough information but not too much.

Then, editing. Is this word the right one? Is it simple enough that anyone will understand what the character feels or thinks, but complex enough to encompass everything I am trying to say or imply?

I write my heart, my fears, my dreams, and my aspirations into each story. All cloaked in the fictional world I’ve envisioned. I laugh … I cry … I fall in love – just a little bit – with scenes I had no idea I was going to write.

I don’t try to be insightful.

I see the story. I write it. I refine it as best I can.

And, at the end of the day or week, that is all I have. Just whatever words have made it on to the page.

I have nothing else to give, but these stories or movies. No opinions or insights, no matter that I would love to write engaging and interesting blog posts. I guess I have nothing much to say about anything else other than whatever story I am constructing.

Unless it’s a picture of a cat attempting to impede my writing, I have been known to snap a few of those. Such as: Leo in the blueberry box, Darby sleeping on a manuscript, or cats ruling the world. But I have a feeling those posts don’t count at all … not on an “insightful” level. My Facebook friends seem to like these posts the best though, and honestly so do I.

I guess this makes me kind of boring.

Sorry about that.

Maybe you’ll find one of my books or films more interesting … that is always the hope.

Ah, Vancouver in the spring …

The sun comes out, trees begin to bloom, and my love affair with Vancouver begins anew. I no longer find myself rushing to and from the house, but rather taking little moments to wander through the garden to see what is new each sunny day.

Today the three-year-old dwarf nectarine tree is in full bloom, so I grabbed this picture right before I holed back up in the office for the remainder of the day.

While walking to Pilates this morning I found this lovely scene in my neighbour’s yard (I believe that is a weeping cherry tree?):

And, on my way home, I couldn’t help but grab a shot of this gorgeous white cherry tree in full bloom. I love the contrast of the almost fluffy blossoms against the rough, stapled wood of the electrical pole.

So with that indulgent morning walk to keep me going while confined to the office, I happily get back to writing.

All shots were taken with an iPhone 4s, and ever so slightly tweaked in photoshop.

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Writing update: just in case you were wondering about upcoming projects, Spirit Binder (Paranormal Fantasy) is currently with the story editor and cover artist. Expected release date is May 15, 2012. The sequel to Spirit Binder, Time Walker,  (Young Adult Paranormal Fantasy) is currently being drafted, with a fall release in mind. After The Virus should be available in paperback for it’s 1st anniversary in June 2012. YAY!!

Photos from the Seawall

It is a winter wonderland in Vancouver today and, with the forecast predicting pissing rain for the next couple of days, we decided a lunch time walk was in order. The photo opportunities were numerous and these are a few that I grabbed with the iPhone:

It is so strange – such a strange juxtaposition – to see snow on the beach. Beaches, even growing up here on the WetCoast, seem analogous with summer and sunshine specifically.

Here a fountain is almost completely crusted in ice… I imagine the city has the water on so the pipes don’t freeze…

Duck. Duck. Goose? I think this might be a goose – perhaps a domesticated type that was released into the “wilds” of Granville Island? Here he/she is chilling with the ducks. I have sent this photo to my Dad, who, I have no doubt, will be able to identity this water fowl.

Ah, a Great Blue Heron… while you can almost always spot these amazing birds down at Granville Island it is rare to get this close to one… at least for me… here he is eyeballing me pretty closely, but, based on the amount of water fowl we saw near shore on our walk, it must be a pretty good day for fishing so he put up with getting his picture taken.

Steven Pressfield’s, “Do The Work”

“A child has no trouble believing in the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It’s only you and I, with our big brains and tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.” – Steven Pressfield, Do The Work

This is not a review – yes I enjoyed the book, but, having just finished it, must let it distill, and distill and then? Spring into action! Just wanted to share the above quote.

Texting while married…

Just had the following text-ersation with Michael:

Me: 2736 words. Brain suddenly feeling a bit mushy.

Him: Sounds like it’s time for a workout.

Me: I was thinking of baking. Which is probably the exact opposite.

Me: Also, are you calling me fat?

— LONG PAUSE —

Him: Absolutely not.

Me: That’s not what it sounded like. It sounded like you don’t want cookies.

Him: I would never say no to cookies.

Me: Okay. As long as you have your priorities straight.

Him: Straight as the line between the back door and cookie sheet.

That, btw, is pretty damn straight. Poor Michael — the trials and tribulations of being married to a writer who bakes. Not that he seems to mind. Upon reflection, perhaps this is simply funny to me because I have a case of mushy brain right now… okay, off to bake… another flash fiction friday instalment coming this week.

#whyiwrite? In 140 characters or less…

According to an email in my inbox this morning from She Writes, today is The National Day on Writing (in the USA – officially declared by Congress). One of the sponsors, the National Council of Teachers of English, posed the following question to the world at large: Why do you write?

So, after a bit of thought and some rather picky editing, here is my answer:

Stories haunt me, clamouring to be told, to entertain and, hopefully, reveal some truth, such as my belief that love conquers all #whyiwrite

What about you?

#whyiwrite?

#Trust30 – Image

Image by Matthew Stillman

Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mess up your hair. If you are wearing makeup – smudge it. If you have a pair of pants that don’t really fit you – put them on. Put on a top that doesn’t go with those pants. Go to your sock drawer. Pull out two socks that don’t match. Different lengths, materials, colors, elasticity.

Now two shoes. You know the drill.

Need to add more? Ties? Hair clips? Stick your gut out? I trust you to go further.

Take a picture.

Get ready to post it online.

Are you feeling dread? Excitement? Is this not the image you have of yourself? Write about the fear or the thrill that this raises in you? Who do you need to look good for and what story does it tell about you? Or why don’t you care?

(Author: Matthew Stillman)

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I absolutely loved today’s prompt, and though I was supposed to devote the morning to pitching, After The Virus, and the afternoon to writing, I’ve decided to briefly – if I am actually capable of being brief – respond to this above idea.

I spent the majority of my childhood and teen years attempting to be perfect, as anyone who still knows me from those days can attest too – there are not many of you around anymore! Now, in deference to brevity, I shall not get in to the reasons I constantly strived to project this “perfect” image, just that it was what it was. My mid-20s were spent in-between callings (I had thought to be an actress my entire life previous) and in a relatively dark place (in my head), and this, in hindsight was a particularly difficult period for me.

Right around my 25th year I was treated to a couple of actual epiphanies. One was a difficult pill and the other was much more affirming (and a completely different topic).

The difficult pill to swallow was that it was currently I, rather than some previous outside force or forces, who demanded this constant perfection. The dusting of make-up, the waxing every 6 weeks, the cute haircut (no bangs in my eyes!), the with-out-a-single-chip manicure and the parade of pretty dresses where my entire construct. And, of course, I always had to be polite and sweet as possible–my opinions constantly tempered (even to some degree today I still attempt to not just simply attack people willy-nilly with my opinions, etc).

So, after many racking sobs and a few terrible fights with various people, I just backed off. I eased off my personal pressure cooker. I only did such things as make-up if I felt it was necessary or polite–dressing up is also a sign of respect.

Yes, I do fall back into this personal pressure cooker, especially with the writing, all the time, but at least, to extend the metaphor beyond comfort, I don’t slam on the lid for a decade or two.

Right now, I have nail polish on my fingernails that is WEEKS old.

Take that perfection – I DEFY you with the very tips of my fingers.

You don’t own me.

I CHOOSE.

And f*ck anyone who asks/expects different of me, including myself.

#Trust30 – Courage to Connect

Courage to Connect by David Spinks

Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.

(Author: David Spinks)

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I have been so focused on promoting After The Virus and trying to carve out writing time (so I follow up with a new novel in a timely manner) that my Trust 30 posts have really fallen to the wayside, but, with that said, I do read and think about the prompts every morning. This one has my brain churning, churning, churning… who have I always wanted to connect to?

Here’s the thing, I’ve always thought that we are all just people. Some people are fantastic at what they do (though, in reference to Outliners, I do believe that talent is only part of the parcel and practice makes perfect or at least really good), and they build a following because of that. So I have always tried to not put people up on pedestals – it’s so much easier for them to fall down that way.

With that said, I would probably become a gushing fan girl if I ever came face to face with Mr. Steven Spielberg, who pretty much raised me via his films.

I’ll have to think on this prompt throughout the day. Just wanted to call your attention to it.

Who have you been dying to connect to?

#Trust30 – Prompt #8 – Five Years

Five Years by Corbett Barr

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

(Author: Corbett Barr)

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It is odd to get a prompt that doesn’t trigger much of a reaction for me, especially since I have been quite motivated to respond to the first 7.

I have thought about this for over 24 hours now and cannot come up with any earth-shattering, life-changing communication that I would have with my younger or older self, except maybe; to my younger self: it doesn’t get any easier, but what fun would it be if it was easy? And to my older self? (Hopefully it will be) Damn you look great, oh, and I see we are still on track and loving every minute of it.