Warning: this post diverges from my usually positive offerings.

Yesterday I set out to write a massively joyful post about Dowser 7’s great release – biggest release day ever, great store rankings, fun live release day party. I wanted to thank my amazing and supportive readers. And to tell you how blessed I am to have you all in my life.

Then I got blindsided.

Tagged. On Facebook. By a reader who just had to let me know how lacklustre she thought my new book was – less than 24 hours after its release. A reader who’s name I recognized. A reader who I’d had positive, fun interactions with previously. She decided that the first thing I should see the morning after I’d released a new book – the accumulation of months and months of my life – was just how bored she was with my newest effort.

Of course, I answered her politely, as is my default. And I shook it off. Not everyone likes every book (I certainly don’t). And I’ve had people be nasty to me before, though usually in a private message.

I went to work. I spend my entire morning boxing up giveaways. Hundreds of dollars of giveaways. Happily. Because I do love to give things away.

Then a couple of hours later another reader decided to comment here on my blog, expressing his disappointment in the book. He was rather detailed, including informing me (the lowly writer) that my FEMALE character had learned her greatest lesson from an OLDER MALE character and that she should just stick with that. I imagined I was supposed to reply with gushing gratitude. What with me being a FEMALE writer and him being MALE, he was totally in his rights to tell me – in my personal space – everything I could be doing better. Right?

Nope.

Fortunately the comments are moderated on this blog aka my personal space. So, yeah, I deleted that message. And then went on with my day.

I must, must mention that positive after positive message was also filtering in through all of this – lovely reviews, lovely readers who seemed to understand and appreciate the tenor of the new book and what it was setting up.

But, of course, I’m exhausted.

I’m empty.

Drained.

I just didn’t realize just how tired I am. So the nasty messages are what stuck to me (as they do to any of us). And by the end of the day I just shut down. Far, far down. As in needing to be in a dark room with my head pressed against the wall with Michael trying desperately to figure out was wrong and how to fix it.

And, after he coaxed me out of the dark and got some food in me, we made a plan. A plan that has me working less, and buffering myself from nasty people more. And that is sad. It is sad that because a few people are nasty, I have to pull back on all my relationships, that I have to pull back on my level of commitment to keeping up those relationships.

But, eager to keep moving ever forward, I started my new routine this morning – namely, half days rather than full days, on Saturdays. Yes, I’ve been working six, often seven days a week, for over three years now. No vacations that last longer than two days, and I had only one of those in 2017. But this morning was a new day, a new plan. I headed out and got my driver’s license renewed – only 3 months after it had expired – and I helped Michael with errands instead of working like I usually do.

Because if I’m balanced, I shouldn’t be so thin skinned, right? I shouldn’t allow myself to get so empty that someone can make me cry after a great release day because she tags me on Facebook just to make certain that I read and understand her opinion.

Anyway.

Moving forward.

I did errands this morning. I bought myself some new seeds. I reminded myself that there is life away from the writing.

After I made my hot chocolate, I happily wandered back into the office, ready to box up the last of the giveaways (I had to buy padded envelopes to do so).

And in my inbox sits an email. Another male reader. This time complaining about the preorder giveaway.

Now – unfortunately – readers do like to complain about my giveaways.

Yes.

People complain about how I GIVE things away.

This has happened in some form or another many times. Usually it has to do with shipping – over which, as I’m sure you understand, I have no control. Occasionally, I also apparently make giveaways ‘too difficult’ to enter.

But the reader who felt compelled to email me this morning informed me that I’d disappointed him – funny how men always seem to need to express their utter disappointment in me when giving me a scolding. He was disappointed because I hadn’t given him enough time to enter the preorder giveaway. Yes, the giveaway announced on my blog over a month ago, then mentioned weekly (sometimes more) on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Google Plus, then mentioned in my monthly newsletter on January 2. That giveaway.

Apparently, I needed to make a bigger effort so that he’d had more time to enter.

So …

I’m starting a Shit List. Yep. For the first time in my long writing career, I’ve been pushed too far. Three straws in less than twenty-four hours have dented my resolve to be perpetually positive. I opened a Word document and I wrote three names in it. It’s titled: shit list and saved to my desk top.

And now I’m writing this blog post, publicly admitting that I’m tired of being treated badly by people who just expect me to suck it up.

So here it is, for everyone to see and understand, if you are nasty to my face in my space – my inbox, this blog, or any of my personal social media pages – I’m putting you on my shit list.

Because no.

Just no.

You can’t be nasty to me and expect to enter and win giveaways. I might have always adhered to the random number generator in the past. I might be Canadian. I might love to laugh. But I just cannot do it any longer. I cannot be quiet about rude, inappropriate behaviour. I cannot reward nastiness.

Be nasty about me or my books in your own space, in your reviews. That is your business, and your right to your own opinion.

I will not be mentioning this again. I don’t want to mention it ever again. But try to make me cry? To make me feel like I’m worthless? I’m putting you on the shit list.

And now I will post this, then happily go back to addressing giveaway packages.

Oh! There are new T-shirt designs coming. That’s fun. And Dowser 7 paperback giveaway, of course. I just ordered copies.